Jealousy. A toxic emotion that can completely undo your positive mindset and weaken the strongest relationships. Jealousy brings out the ugliest and most unattractive qualities in you. You hate how jealousy makes you feel and yet… you can’t just seem to shake it off. Jealousy is an ugly bastard. If you want to know how to deal with jealousy in a relationship, please keep reading because this love advice article is specifically written for you.
Whether or not you can’t help but feel threatened by your girlfriend’s best guy pal or your boyfriend’s ability to attract countless of women due to his debonair charm and wit, that nasty green eyed monster crept up on you… and you can’t stand it.
When we find someone we completely love and adore, the possibility of losing them is frightening. That’s why if you lack confidence, self-esteem or don’t 100% believe that your partner loves you and only you… jealousy will creep in and it will slowly suffocate your relationship. Here are two ways on how you can deal with jealousy in a relationship.
1.) Only control what you can control and practice acceptance.
Truth be told, the only person you can control is yourself. You can’t control how your partner’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, or desires. The more you do so, the more you jeopardize your relationship and the more unattractive you become. Chances are IMMENSELY higher that you’re driving your relationship into the ground if you’re being needy and desperate to control your relationship.
So, instead of trying to control what you can’t control… practice acceptance. When you accept that your partner has a platonic relationship with the opposite sex, the less pain and suffering you are putting upon yourself. You know what I mean when I say pain and suffering… that internal chaos that’s wrecking havoc in your mind and in your heart. That wretched feeling we like to call… jealousy.
If you’re constantly riddled with the thought of losing your partner, thoughts from the past or visions of the future will add more fuel to the fire. What will help you be in a better state of acceptance is if you practice living in the present moment because the past and future are nothing but elaborate illusions.
Why worry about the past when you can’t do anything about it? Why worry about the future when the moment is now? Remember, what you make of now… creates your future! So the more time you spend worrying about something that hasn’t happened, the more you’re missing out on the important things in life.
2.) Most importantly, do you know how freaking amazing you are?
The root of jealousy comes down to how you feel about yourself. Our biggest and baddest beliefs that we hold to be true will impact your relationship. If you can’t love yourself unconditionally, it’s going to be hard to believe that someone else can love YOU unconditionally.
This is where insecurity and jealousy are stemmed from. If you don’t know how to deal with jealousy in a relationship, try working on the only person you can control. As I’ve mentioned earlier, the only person you can control is yourself.
Is there a certain aspect in your life that you feel needs improvement? Can you benefit from shedding some weight, getting that job promotion you’ve had your eye on, or even catching up with old friends? If so, go do it! This will help you feel a sense of achievement that will help boost your self esteem and confidence.
You need other outlets in your life that will help you feel fulfilled. If your only outlet in your life for happiness is your relationship, then your relationship will bound to suffer.
Jealousy brings out neediness and when you become needy, you begin to depend on your partner to help you feel fulfilled and happy. This is the WORST mindset to have. The only person that you should depend on for your happiness is yourself because you can’t rely on your partner– it’s quixotic and unfair.
Change your negative internal beliefs about what you believe to be true about yourself and change them. Tell yourself daily affirmations. For example,
“I’m worthy of love and happiness”
“I am a stunning person (inside and out)”
“My life is beautiful because I aspire to positivity and I am abundant”
You can create your own affirmations, just make sure you tell yourself how freaking amazing you are whenever you get a chance. Live by your words and before you know it… you can banish that ugly green eyed monster and have that satisfying and fulfilling relationship and learn how to trust in a relationship again without the fear of losing it.
